Chapter 1- Curiosity 

Justice: Hey, Babe? 

Temperance: Yes, my love?

 Justice: How did you know I would come back, even after rejecting you multiple times and breaking your heart?

Temperance smiled and replied, “I knew you would ask me this question one day and I have spent years preparing myself to answer it. You are right; you broke my heart repeatedly, making it clear you were not interested in me and never wanted date or talk to me. I vividly remember the third time I confessed my feelings to you. You just blocked me, saying it was best for you not to talk to me. I was devastated over that text, and didn’t have the courage to react or respond because I was so afraid to see you go. 

I thought If I texted back, my messages would never reach you, and I would lose all hope of getting you back. You might have assumed that the undelivered texts would help me accept the truth and move on. However, I never texted you back; instead, I took a screenshot, kept it somewhere in my locker, and deleted our entire conversation. That was the last time we spoke in that year.

You know what ? At one point, I even believed you were not my soulmate and I deleted most of your pictures, and things you gave to me. Even for your birthday, I stayed away. I knew my presence would make you uncomfortable after blocking me, and I wanted you to enjoy your day without any awkwardness. You were looking stunning that day that I couldn’t keep my eyes off but I prioritized your happiness over my desire to see you cut the cake I had kept in the kitchen. I silently wished you a happy birthday, and took a picture of the cake. I did delete your old pictures but I am not going lie; I still have that cake picture and one from your childhood where you were standing close to your uncle in an old magazine. I cut the picture from it and kept it with me. You were wearing a red T-shirt, and looking so cute, smiling in the same cute way you do now.

“But you started ignoring me and didn’t even look at me sometimes, like the way you used to do, Justice replied. She added, many times, I could sense your presence around me and your feelings towards me, which made me uncomfortable. I would feel the weird behaviour and your urge to get my attention, but after I blocked you, you stopped everything. I could sense that you were drifting away, no longer interested in me. You even reduced your visits to the community centre, whereas before, you’d wait for me for hours for every single day, even on days I didn’t show up. I could still feel your energy waiting for me everyday at the same place, wasting 4-5 hours. I could feel everything from a distance. Sometimes, seeing your face made me irritated and I’d just leave. But after my clear statement, you changed a lot and I could feel that you were actually moving on, accepting reality. I even wondered, if you really had strong feelings, how could you give up so easily? I was so confused, torn between emotions. You just turned my world upside down for a while. Why?”

Chapter 2- Withdrawal 

“You are absolutely right, Justice; I would not argue with that. Yes, I stopped everything but I didn’t stop loving you. What I did instead was respect your decision and deliver my promise. You said you feel uncomfortable around me so I shifted my energy. I didn’t stop chasing you; I just stopped showing it to you. I didn’t reduce my visits; I still went there every day, hoping you would show up, and I would catch a glimpse of you from afar or at least see your car. I would wait until I could sensed your presence, and then I’d leave. Before I’d wait until you left, but after that, I’d go back home as soon as I knew you were there. But I never stopped showing up or looking for you. 

I also agree, many times, you walked right by me, and I didn’t even look at you, pretending I was busy writing something. The truth is, I didn’t need to see you; my heart could already feel you were around. It would start beating faster and my face expressions would change, but it took a lot of courage to hold my breath and not show any emotions. It was very hard. However, I did it because I remembered that I had tried everything, and nothing else was left to make things work between us. I surrendered to this war of emotions and left everything up to the universe. And you know why? Because looking back at my past, I realized that I had always gotten what I wanted, even if it took weeks, months, or years. Why would this time be any different? So I didn’t lose hope, even when things seemed impossible.

I really made you believe that I’d lost interest, but in reality, I was secretly manifesting your return. There was never a single day where your thoughts didn’t keep me awake. I had countless sleepless nights obsessing over you. My hobbies,study and passions all took a backseat and I struggled to get back on track. I even wrote poems and fantasies about you trying to process. My emotions, sought advice from others, including virtual therapists, but everyone told me to move on or find someone else. I am sure they all had their best intentions towards me, but I, on the other hand, trusted my intuition. It never failed me, even when my judgment was clouded by your harsh words and past conversations. People would often say I had an unhealthy attachment that was consuming me, indicating my desperate search for love. Some days were brutal, filled with disappointment, while others were hopeful. 

Chapter 3- Inner Conflict

I was a rollercoaster of emotions. One moment I would be motivating myself to hold on, and the next, I’d be on the verge of giving up. I’d think to myself, “If I could move on from past loves, even after years of being together, surely I could get over you. After all, we never officially dated. But despite my best efforts, I found myself crying almost every day, yearning for you. I would talk to you as if you were there, touch the empty space beside me, hoping you would appear. On days, you didn’t show up, I’d chase cars similar to yours everywhere, sometimes near your resident, hoping it might be you. I would drive over yellow lanes, loosing my attention, thinking you’d be driving in the opposite directions, but you weren’t there.

I got so many signs to give up on you, Justice. There were countless emotional breakdowns but you never was there to wipe my tears or acknowledge my pain. It should have been a wake-up call that I was chasing a love that didn’t exist. But still, I held on, unable to let go of the hope that things could be different. We lived on opposite sides of the road, like two oceans that could never meet. I paid attention to all these signs but my heart still yearned for you with the same passion I felt when I first saw you. I thought you were out of my league, and in many ways, you were- beautiful, independent, smart, kind and confident in your worth. And those qualities drew me to you, but your guards were so up and I couldn’t find a way in. Therefore, I withdrew myself from you and kept my distance.

You know, My friend Capsy would often say, “I don’t get how you can just sit there, pretending you don’t feel anything for her. If I were in your shoes, I would be desperate to see her or talk to her- I would be ripping my shirt apart and acting like a crazy person! But, how do you have so much patience”? And I’d response, ”Capsy, I am Temperance, a fire sign- impulsive and impatient. Do you really think I have a lot of patience? No, I am burning inside instead of burning everything that’s keeping her from coming to me”.  I would tell him, “If there were a thousand people between us, or the entire world was against us, I would fight my way through them all and set the entire planet on fire. My passion for her is that strong- I can fight anyone to win her but I cannot fight her to win her. I am torn between taking a bold move or staying calm. I have lost this fight by surrendering to her. And you know the fun fact? She didn’t need any weapons to defeat me- her words alone had the power to stop me making such moves. I can cross oceans for her but not her boundaries”. And Capsy would always be left speechless.

Chapter 4- Satisfied Longing

“How can you love someone like this, even after being defeated in love so many times?”, Justice asked. Temperance’s eyes sparkled with a gentle warmth and the response was, “loving again takes courage, especially after all the heartache. But love is the guiding force and more than anything in the world, only love mattered to me and still does. I can give up on everything, myself, people, career but not love. I am born love and I can’t help it. This is the passion and a fuel to my fire. I can never imagine myself in any role better than a lover, a lover that everyone needs, a lover that I need, a lover that you need or people who always just manifest. That’s the reason we are here, wearing our wedding rings in our wedding clothes because I believe in love. I believe in me and I believe in you. I knew you would come to me realizing my love for you is genuine and written in the stars. I knew universe would give you signs, forcing you to listen to my heart which beats only for you. Look around, Justice; the only thing you will see is my love, my passion and my devotion for you. Hold my hand, and tell me what you feel”

Justice, wearing a purple gown and black gloves, takes Temperance’s hands and says, “I feel the luckiest person alive to have a passionate, hopeless romantic, and a crazy lover by my side.” I could never have imagined that someone could love me to this level. I was just occupied with my thoughts, creating an image of a desired partner, but you exceeded my own expectations, making me believe that everything is possible. I wish I could have realized this earlier and come to you. I wish I could see your genuine emotions and passion for me, but all I was doing was wasting my time looking for love in the wrong people. I wish I could have held your hands before and kissed you. I wish,”

“Shhhh! You don’t have to regret anything,” Temperance assures her. “Everything was worth it – the tears, the fights, distance, waiting, everything was worth it to be with you. And as for the kiss, you can still do it. I am right here in front of you, patiently waiting for this very moment for such a long time. Kiss me, Justice, and let me end my quest for you. Please kiss me and make me yours forever. I am begging for it.”

Justice comes closer, where she can feel Temperance’s breath, impatiently waiting for the first kiss. As their heartbeats rise, Justice puts Temperance’s arms around her waist, touches her lover’s cheeks, and gives a tender kiss. When they close their eyes, all of Temperance’s anxiety, fears, and impatience disappear, and a sense of stability, security, and peace unfold. Temperance’s thirst is finally satisfied as the kiss deepens, turning them on for their first night.

Chapter 5- First Night

It’s the first time, Temperance removes her clothes and sees her naked instead of daydreaming about this moment. As the kiss lit the fire inside them, their passion turns into……

Do we actually need this chapter? Please comment.

My mysterious woman, I know we don’t speak but I would love to confess that even though I’m fiercely protective of myself yet you effortlessly pass my guards and make me lose control. It feels like you have an intense hold over me, dragging me towards you with an irresistible force, enslaving me in your sweetness and captivating voice. I confess my attraction to you is not only romantic but also deeply physical. When I see you, radiant and light like a feather, I feel an overwhelming desire to hold you close and feel your softness against my skin.

Every time I try to resist, the sweet scent of your body pulls me in as if I am swimming  in golden,magical sparks flying around your body. You have cast a spell around my heart and mind which always makes me feel drawn to you blindly, conjuring a hunger for your taste and glance. One moment, my heart feels like adoring your alluring nature, and the next, my mind is consumed in the thought of choking you in a dark room.

Today, my craving for you is not just romantic, but also a raging wildfire that cannot be tamed, burning brighter with every passing moment. A fire that makes me impulsive. A fire that I can feel in my veins, flowing through my hands and fingers, fueling my every waking thought about you. It’s a flame that longs to touch your hands, cheeks, and every inch of your body, especially your breasts. I yearn to transfer this burning passion to your breasts, gently squeezing them inwards, so I can tenderly suckle your soft, brown nipples, like I savor chocolate toppings on a creamy vanilla ice cream, melting through my lips. I crave the taste of your skin, the feel of your fingers intertwined with mine, and our legs wrapped around each other. I want to breathe in the scent of your body and lose myself in the depths of your eyes. I want to hold your hands tightly, draw closer to your lips, tease them, and kiss them until they’re red and bruised, bearing the marks of my intense desire.

As we embrace, I want to kiss your neck and let my warm breath stir the delicate skin of your pierced ear, and whisper, “Is it sexually arousing, darling? Because all I want tonight is to make love with you.” I take the sweet melody of your giggles as a yes and start tracing the contours of your collarbone and shoulders with my lips. I want our souls to merge when we hug, and our hearts to beat as one. I want to feel your passion scratching my back with your nails, pulling my hair, eating my neck, ears, and shoulders alive. While our lips seem busy, I explore the curves of your waist with my fingertips, play with them like I play my guitar, and make initials of our names on your belly. I want to pinch your love handles, tickle them, and kiss them gently in the soft glow of candles lighting the room.

This doesn’t end here. I’m tempted to drizzle warm wax on your waist, trace those spots with my lips, and release that pain with my kisses. I want to touch your ass, rub it, smack it, and bite it. After, I want to feel your thighs beneath my hands and kiss your v-lines to open the gate of a beautiful cave. As I explore around, my nose senses a soothing scent, and my tongue finds a sweet and salty taste, very different and warm. I feel thirsty for more, so I open it softly with my fingers and enjoy this refreshing taste. To make it more delicious, I spit in it and let my fingers slip inside to dig for more. The more I go in, the more it becomes slippery. The entire place seems so tempting, and my thumb feels some rocks on the top. When I touch them, it creates a disturbance in the waters inside. Soon, the small volume of waves turns into a tsunami, destroying everything inside and out, making everything wet – my hands, your thighs, even the sheets under us. You hug me tightly, like crushing me. The sweet warmth of our bodies turns into salty sweats, and I kiss you in this very moment by grasping your jaw. I want you to breathe in me and let this fire burn everything – your vagina, our skin, our souls, and even this room. I don’t care if the whole place is set on fire because I know all the flames will be covering us like a shield while we are lost in each other. Yes, I want that and more than that. You are unaware of this fact, but hundreds of times I have just touched you with my eyes and made out with you in every corner of this building and you know what? I want to go beyond this because I have very intense feelings for you, and these feelings are not going anywhere soon….

Ray. K

“I just wanna see who she is and how she looks,” a conversation between two friends with a glass of champagne and soft laughter from other guests under the golden chandeliers were making me forget everything, yet I was thinking about us, holding gaze at something I don’t even know, thinking how would you react to this if you were here. You are unaware how I survived after you in a world of assumptions. Every day felt like reliving our conversations all over again, but somehow I slowly began to break free from the painful fantasies about us. However, one fantasy still lingered and never left me alone, which was the desire to tell you how you hurt me, to let out all the emotions I’d bottled up. It wasn’t about seeking revenge or closure; it was about being heard, being seen.

I knew if I get a chance I would remove all my anger on you, but don’t know when it would be, and do I want it or need it? It’s still a puzzle occupying my mind heavily at the moment, giving me a gloomy look in this bright scenery. So, I shook my head and started engaging with my people to stay in the present. Today was the biggest day of my life, and I had spent countless hours preparing for this moment because I was receiving recognition for my film based on my own book about a love story.

As I finalized my speech, I was also busy finding the perfect outfit that aligns with my personality – an outfit that sets the energy of confidence, success, and satisfaction. I was wearing a stunning coral red single-breasted topless blazer suit, complete with a round snake golden chain and simple hoops that were sparkling under the lights. My short, curly hair was styled to perfection, and my bright makeup was adding a radiant glow. The smile on my face was making everyone’s day, and the charm in my eyes was attracting every magnetic personality presented there.

As I stood backstage, I could hear the murmur of the audience, the soft rustle of programs being opened, and the faint scent of perfume in the air, creating an electric vibe. I could sense the anticipation of the audience about my looks as an author who never showed her face before. It was a mysterious moment, and was only 10 minutes before I would take the stage. My heart was already racing with excitement and nervousness at the same time. My staff swarmed around me, offering words of encouragement and compliments that left me blushing.

“This is it,” this is my moment, and I won’t let anyone ruin it, I whispered to myself, taking a deep breath. But in that instant, you appeared, and accidentally dropped a cup of coffee on my suit, ruining every grace of the outfit, the jewelry on my chest, leaving me shocked. The words in my brain shouted, “Are you freaking insane?” That my lips couldn’t say, as I looked up, it was you. The room fell quiet, with everyone’s hands covering their mouths in shock. My team, who had worked tirelessly with me, stood frozen. I felt like I’d been hit with a heavy stone on my heart. The careful planning, preparation – all felt in vain in a split second.

You started apologizing and offered to clean my suit, but the liquid soaked through the fabric and left a dark stain of disappointment. I didn’t know which emotion to show first – that you were finally there or you were just there to show me why you were not supposed to be there. Your continued apology, with a nervous face, was not making anything better. It seemed self-centered, a desire to remove your own guilt rather than acknowledging the pain you had caused me. It was reminding me of our past arguments, where you never took responsibility or asked how I felt. You still didn’t care to ask me how I was doing in this very moment.

But I couldn’t bear it more, so I closed my eyes with furrowed brows and tightened jaw, and thought that I have that moment today where I could hate you the most and get over my pain. I have the chance to stab you with my words, not giving you room to breathe, like panic attacks, because that’s how I felt for months and be free from this painful jail.

So I opened my eyes, conveying the depth of my feelings, but also sensing how scared you were from a terrified look on your face. “Every time I try to miss you with so many good memories, you end up showing me not to,” a dialogue in my head wanted to come out. It’s like my mind wanted to fight, but my heart couldn’t. All I know is a warm tear dropped from my eye, and my voice barely above a whisper said, “It’s okay, no need to apologize,” and moved silently.

Around 5 pm, the fading glow of dusk and dark corners were creating an eerie silence in a dimly lit lobby. The air was thick and cool, hinting at the early fall. The white chiffon curtains were rustling softly. The lone table in the center of the space, and the shadows of the railing, were adding a touch of mystery to the dark mahogany floor. The atmosphere was hushed, with only soft whispers and gentle footsteps from the corridors breaking the silence. Leaning against the wall, wearing white linen clothes, I was lost in my phone reading, “A Rainy Encounter.” And you suddenly appeared before me, asking how I was doing. Your captivating voice and bright smile caught me off guard, and I almost forgot how to react. Overwhelmed me, I put my phone away, slipping it into my right pocket, and started focusing on your face, slowly returning to reality from the fantasy world of the story.

I was mesmerized by your beauty in this mysterious evening. You were looking like a magical fairy in long, curly hair, wearing a traditional dress in a soft pistachio shade, complete with a high-neck design. The cat-eye glasses added cuteness to your magnetic appearance. While I was lost in the observation, you snapped your fingers, looking for a response. I got nervous, and before I could respond, I saw a cigarette in your hand, changing my surprised expression to a concerning emotion. I couldn’t believe it at first because you would never do such things. It seemed I was meeting a new personality of yours that I had never met before. I have always sensed that you’re hiding a part of yourself from your loved ones but hiding this was a bit of a surprise for me. So, I couldn’t help myself asking, “What made you do it?” After blowing a puff, when you were about to answer, someone approached in the lobby. You swiftly discarded it and grasped my hand, leading me to a secluded corner and urging me to remain silent. This playful side of yours, previously concealed, left me enchanted. 

Upon asking the reason, you whispered, “I came to see you before my trip.” I raised my eyebrows in surprise and said, “You what? I never thought you would be interested in seeing me.” Shhh! “Can you please lower your voice? I don’t want anyone to hear us, but yes, I was very interested in seeing you because I knew I wouldn’t be able to for many days,” you replied. Seeing me surprised, you drew closer to me, assuring me that you were actually meaning those word by looking into my eyes. My heart was racing as I could feel your breath so close to mine. Before I could utter a word, you kissed me with uncharacteristic boldness and said how much you would miss me. I was speechless, seeing you that daring; it was the opposite side of yours that I’d always longed to experience. Lost in your face, I started getting flashbacks about our weeks of talking and how you suddenly ceased communication after discovering my feelings for you, ignoring my texts, and completely shutting down. For months, I couldn’t sleep, and the pain lingered, fueling my desire to move forward, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. 

I would waste my hours just to see you for a few seconds, but it was not serving me well. So, I changed my schedule to avoid seeing you, which was painful, but I couldn’t break myself further. I thought I’d finally put the pieces together and forgotten you, but today, your presence brought it all back. The way you came close, held my cheeks, and kissed me like you had also been waiting for this moment. It felt like someone made my dream a reality. I was lost in these feelings while you were looking for an answer, and said, “Please say something; I’m getting nervous.” Finally, I broke my silence. “I knew you had feelings for me, but what took you so long?” And your response was, “I did, but I couldn’t admit it before, so I rushed to see you before boarding my train this evening. I felt anxiety like I’m leaving something behind, so I came to see you, but I’m in a hurry now, so I’ll see you soon. Take care.” Your confession left me daydreaming. Everything smelled like fresh love – the dust on the steps, the movement of the curtains, the whispers of the wind, even the smoke of the cigarette was alluring me to dance.

As I watched you go, I was thinking about how I would express my love once you come back and how we complete each other – a match made in heaven. If anyone can understand your fears, scars, anger, and anxiety, it’s me. Like a true soul mate, I would be the solution to your all problems. The moment I started believing that it was actually happening, my alarm rang, waking me up from this beautiful dream. I felt annoyed and rubbed my eyes. The scenery seemed blurry, so I removed my blanket from my face and found myself lying in my bed, seeing a white ceiling. Instead of your whispers, I could hear birds chirping. I started searching for you here and there, but all I could see were my light blue-colored walls full of paintings. I found myself stuck in this dream, which was more like a moment of reality for me. I wished I could stay there forever, so I kept snoozing my alarm and visualizing the same scene on the ceiling with open or sometimes closed eyes, pressurizing them to make it happen. However, I got nothing but a migraine, affecting my morning routine. 

Reality hit me hard that morning. You had left a day earlier without thinking about me, like I didn’t even exist in your life, and I have come full circle. It was hard to accept the reality of your absence, but the dream on this Lion’s Gate Portal day left me wondering if I should try to make our connection happen. People say morning dreams may come true, so should I start manifesting our relationship, or am I reading too much into it? The universe seems to be sending mixed signals, but I’m left with more questions than answers since then, and my heart still reels from the dream.

Whispers living in the head!

July 16, 2024

This rainy day again is transporting me to a different world by casting a mystical spell in the air; transforming green trees into dark, cloudy shades, and turning black asphalt roads into a rhythmic dance floor beaten by heavy drums of raindrops. The sound of wind whispers through the leaves and creates a romantic and healing ambiance. I wish you were here to experience it with me.

As I am enjoying this weather, I wish you didn’t have an umbrella while walking to your car, and I appear with one to offer you shelter. You hesitate to accept it, as if trying to flee, like always, and I say, “Hey, I know we don’t get along with each other now, but at least I don’t hate you. I genuinely care about you and simply don’t want you to get sick.” I assure you it’s not about rekindling our past and make you comfortable. You respond back to me with a nervous voice, “No, I don’t hate you,” and I say, “It’s okay, no explanation needed. All I know is I will be walking you to your car, and you are coming with me.”

You nod and start walking with me quietly. After reaching to the parking lot, you struggle to find your keys saying, I am sorry I can’t find my keys, oh! There it is and unlock the door. I say, It’s okay”, and hold the door for you. After getting inside the car, you thank me sweetly and start the engine. I close the door, saying, “Take care,” and watch you drive. After crossing couple of parking spots, you glance back at me through your side mirrors. Dressed in black, I stand there, watching you go, my heart yearning for a different outcome. I fantasize about you stopping your car, getting out of it, rushing back to me, fully wet, rain-soaked, gasping and stand right in front of me. Surprised, my heart starts beating fast. As I attempt to cover you with my umbrella, you snatch it away, grasp my collar and kiss me softly under this heavy downpour.

Another day lived in Head.

please share your rainy stories in the comment section.